Trapped Humidity
This is the Northeast. I like four seasons and always look forward to the changes. However, when did the dog days of August start in June? Hot dry heat is one thing, but the humidity we seem to endure just ruins the whole New England feel. I don’t like living in this terrarium. Where’s the cold-front? Have you ever noticed all of the horrible things that happen when it’s oppressively hot? Paper starts to biodegrade and jam up the copy machines… it’s more than huge hair and chafing… it’s that moist layer of goo that most amphibians seem to enjoy. Stick and slide; such as to the seat of your car or the way your clothes cling in all the wrong places and that little drip of dew rolling down your spine, prolonged exposure to this type of humidity inevitably leads to “the river of doom.” Everything wilts and you shouldn’t break into a feverish sweat just from bending over to tie your shoes. The debilitating wall of heat that sucks your soul out of you when you go from over air- conditioned to non. It is impossible to take in air while breathing in this cumulous cloud and feels like you’re sucking labored breaths of air out of a sponge. Groceries conveniently melt on the way home, so you need to plan ahead and a pick a store within a five mile radius even if it’s the outrageous foo foo store… the minute the dairy hits your hot trunk it seems to die a little inside… melting or curdling on contact.
You open the closet and realize your clothing options are quite limited, “What is the bare minimum I can wear in public or at the office…?” lamenting that you don’t own more linen.
Who are these people who thrive in stating that they just absolutely love this unbearable heat…? They feel so alive and, “Isn’t this wonderful weather?” I say, “Well… Florida is waiting for you… now go.”